Patience

I've been thinking a lot about patience lately, not only in my life but in my recovery. When I started on this path, I was like a person who had been living in a shit storm for so long that I expected the sun to shine brightly the moment I decided to change. I wanted immediate results, quick fixes, and a magic wand to erase all the pain and chaos I had caused in my life. But, as many of us may have experienced, recovery doesn't work that way. It's not a sprint; it's a marathon. It's about progress, not perfection. It's about learning to navigate the unpredictable terrain of life without turning to my old destructive habits.

I used to get frustrated when things didn't go my way. When I had setbacks, cravings, or moments of doubt, I would feel like I was failing. I would wonder why I couldn't just be better right away. I wanted it all to be smooth sailing, but that's just not the reality of recovery.

Over time, though, I've come to understand that patience is an essential ingredient in this journey. It's about me being patient with myself when I stumble and fall, patient with the process as it happens at its own pace, and patient with the people around me who may not fully understand what I’m going through.

I've learned that the moments when I've been most impatient have often been the ones that taught me the most. They've shown me where I still have work to do, where I can grow stronger, and where I can deepen my understanding of myself and my addiction. I've found that when I let go of the need for instant gratification and embrace the process, amazing things happen. I've seen some of my relationships mend as I learn to communicate honestly and build trust. My self-esteem has grown as I accomplish small victories along the way. My serenity has increased as I've learned to accept life on its terms, not mine.

It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen because I chose patience. I chose to keep showing up, even on the tough days. I chose to keep working on myself, even when it feels like progress is slow. And I chose to keep believing in my higher power, even in times of doubt.

When I’m feeling impatient in my own recovery, I know that I’m not alone. We've all been there. We've all wanted the quick fix, the instant transformation. But remember, we're all in this together, and it's the journey, not the destination, that truly matters. Patience can be our greatest ally on this incredible path to healing and growth.